I’d like to share some of the things I learned during a recent three week trip to Northern Italy. We visited two dozen restaurants in Milan, on the Ligurian coast, and in the Piedmont region. While some of these tips seem obvious in retrospect, I didn’t find any books or articles that clued me in before our trip. Since this summer promises to be a very busy season for European travel, if you’re headed for Italy, please be forewarned and don’t make the rookie errors that I did!
My first hot tip starts with opening the door to the restaurant.
In the United States, most restaurant doors pull open. This is because U.S. fire codes require that doors push out from the inside so that people can exit quickly in case of a fire or emergency. Not in Italy. Especially during our first week in Milan, I found myself trying to pull doors open (wondering if the door was locked from the inside), when all I needed to do is push it open and enter!
And when you enter, make sure that you give a hearty Buongiorno with a smile on your face. Although Buongiorno technically means good morning, I had Italians greet me that way during the daylight hours – probably because Buono Parmeriggio (good afternoon) is harder for most Americans to understand and say! Once it is evening, change that up to Buonaserra (good evening). You will be amazed at how greeting someone in their native language instantly warms them. We were treated warmly and welcomed heartily every time we remembered to enter a restaurant with this simple greeting. The few times that my hubby said “Hello” (or worse, “How y’all doing?” in his Southern drawl), there was a barely perceptible chill to our greeter’s natural warmth. We quickly learned our lesson!
As I stressed in my last post, it is important to make reservations. The few times we didn’t, we were seated at tables in the bar and not in the main dining room. Since I sometimes groped for “abbiamo una prenotazione” (we have a reservation), everyone understood when I smiled and simply said my name and The Fork . . . they always smiled back and led us to our table.
Some menus in smaller towns may only be in Italian – but roughly half of the menus we received also had an English translation. When the menu is only in Italian and you need help, there is usually at least one person who has a good command of English and who will be happy to translate and explain.
What we in the US call tasting menus are called menu degustazione. There were usually (but not always) multiple choices for each course, and sometimes there were separate meat, seafood, and veggie friendly menu degustazione, which made it even easier to put yourself in the capable hands of the chef and try something new. Since I had already indicated that we didn’t eat meat when I made the reservation on The Fork, our servers invariably remembered and guided me to appropriate selections. And since tasting menus come with complimentary amuse bouche before the antipasti and the additional treats that follow the dolci, we found them to be a particularly good value. The most expensive tasting menu we had in Milan was at Joia (the Zenith menu is 130 euros) and the best value was at Osteria Mamma Rosa (at 45 euros).
If you want to order alla carte, you’ll probably need to wade through a lot of courses on the menu: antipasti (the starter or appetizer course), prima piatti (usually pasta, risotto, gnocchi, or soup), secondi piatti (when we call the main course or entrée), contorni (vegetable course) or sometimes insalata (salad), formaggi (the cheese course), dolci (dessert), followed by digestivi (a drink to help your digestion), and caffè (coffee). It is perfectly acceptable to order only the courses you want. But please don’t be a crass American and ask to be served your entrée while everyone else at your table is on their antipasti. Courses are brought out in order, so if you decide not to have a particular course, content yourself with your panne (bread) or grissini (bread sticks) and sip your vino.
Oh, and don’t be surprised if there is not a bread dish. It is perfectly acceptable to put your bread on the tablecloth or on the side of your plate. And while we often associate white flour with Italian bread, we had some absolutely amazing whole grain breads, as at La Societa Milano, as shown below.
But before you even receive your menu, you will be asked if you want acqua naturale or frizzante (still or sparking water). You receive your own chilled bottle of water which sits on your table, to allow you to pour it yourself. Please don’t embarrass yourself by asking for tap water to avoid the nominal charge – or worse, to ask for ice cubes. The bottle of water is never more than two euros, and you will easily drink it during the course of your meal.
After your water is brought, you will be asked if you would like an Aperitivo. Say Si, per favore (Yes, please) or Non, grazie (no, thank you). I usually ordered a glass of prosecco, because it is fairly low in alcohol and refreshing to sip while perusing the menu. In fact, the glasses of house prosecco we had were quite good, reasonably priced and sometimes even turned out to be complimentary (because they weren’t listed on our final bill).
Something you will always see on your bill is the coperto, which means cover charge. The coperto is usually only a few Euros, and includes the tablecloth, linens, cutlery, bread, and olive oil. The coperto is not the same as the tip.
Something that was hard for me to get used to is the custom that tips aren’t expected in Italy. Even so, I thought that we had exceptional service at most restaurants, and I normally left at least a 20% cash tip. We found that our service staff seemed somewhat surprised but were always appreciative. (However, if you see the word Servizo on your bill, that means that the tip has been included, so you do not need to leave a tip.)
We generally found that our servers were exceptionally professional and well trained (none of this cutsy “Hi, my name is Allen” stuff that is common in the States.) A server in Italy would never dream of removing (or attempting to remove) a plate until everyone at the table is finished. You show you are finished with a course by laying your fork (tines down) below the knife, diagonally across the lower right side of your plate.) All of our servers removed cutlery after each course and replaced it with appropriate cutlery for the next course (unlike the US, where I am surprised at how many times I have to ask for clean utensils).
(Just thought the above photo shows a unique way to place our cutlery at La Societa Milano which was one of the few restaurants we dined at that chose not to use tablecloths!)
In three weeks of restaurant dining, we never had a single server approach us with a check. You need to ask for your check by saying, “Il conto per favore.” And unlike the US, about 80% of the time, you will pay your bill at the cash register or bar, and not at the table. At smaller restaurants, we almost always paid in cash instead of using a credit card. As in the US, the service fees associated with credit cards may be part of a restaurant’s “cost of doing business,” but we got the sense every time we paid with cash that it was greatly appreciated. Also, if you do pay by credit card, you will not be able to add a tip to the amount – so be prepared to tip in cash if you want to acknowledge your server.
Oh, and please don’t make our mistake of asking for caffè to be served with your dolci. Having coffee with dessert is an ingrained custom in the US, but is never done in Italy. Dolci is always served as a separate course, with a digestivo (like an ice cold shot of Limoncello to be sipped) or a caffè to follow. Like idiots, we asked for cappuccino during the first week, and didn’t understand our servers’ tolerant, bemused smiles. It was only during our second week that we began to realize that cappuccino is only meant for mornings, and that no self-respecting Italian would ever drink coffee with milk after a full meal.
If you want coffee after pranzo (lunch) or cena (dinner), ask for il caffè, per favore. What you will get is always espresso served in a tiny cup. Once we got used to it, we thought it was a remarkably civilized custom!
Last, but not least, when you leave a restaurant, say Grazie Mille (thank you very much, or literally, a thousand thanks) and Arrivederci (goodbye). Never say Ciao, which is informal and should only be said to close friends.
While these simple etiquette tips I learned on our trip were still fresh in my mind, I wanted to share them with my readers. I hope you found this helpful!
Oh and one last plug. To show you how seriously the Italians take dining (and their cutlery), here is a photo of one of the many exquisite examples of cutlery at the Castle Sforzesco’s Museo delle Arti Decorative (one of six museums in the enormous medieval castle) that should be a highlight of any trip to Milano!
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